BIFF COMMUNICATION

Going through a divorce after your 40s can be an emotionally trying time. When so much is changing in your life, clear communication with your soon-to-be ex can help make the process smoother. Being brief, sticking to relevant topics, and getting logistics handled can help avoid unnecessary conflicts that may arise from lengthier, open-ended conversations.

Providing informative yet concise updates on financial, property, and child custody matters shows you aim to be transparent and reasonable during negotiations. Volunteer pertinent information instead of making your ex pry every detail from you.

A firm yet friendly tone also works best. Know what you want and what hills you’re willing to die on, but don’t get overtly emotional or antagonistic. You’ve likely known your ex for years, so completely shutting down amicable dialogue may feel unnatural anyway. Keep conversations solution-focused.

Shortening and streamlining talks avoids overanalyzing the relationship or past issues. This helps both parties emotionally detach earlier on. Moving forward pragmatically, not lingering resentfully, gives everyone room to heal. 

Brief but frequent check-ins on divorce proceedings can form helpful communication habits, setting the tone for co-parenting later. Keep talks focused, but not curt. Being informative and firm yet friendly in tone when communicating with an ex can help everyone transition more positively into the next stage of life during this adverse time.

Seth Nelson, Esq. in the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast promotes this B.I.F.F. strategy.  Brief, informative, firm and friendly.  Thanks Seth.