HANDLING HOLIDAYS AND OLD TRADITONS

Even though the two big holidays are just past a few months ago, this blog short really applies to all newly divorced people whether you have kids involved or not.  The way you used to celebrate holidays and years of traditions are no longer valid in the new post-divorce reality. 

With kids - hopefully courts were equally divided with splitting the parenting time between your and your ex. This is a perfect time not to concentrate on what you used to do, but to drop the realization that it is time for new traditions and ways to get through the holidays.  This doesn't just involve Thanksgiving and/or Christmas - but any of the major holidays.  You can go on a vacation, eat something other than turkey, go volunteer at a shelter, incorporate time with other family and/or friends, or something entirely different.  A new reality calls for new decisions.

Without kids - actually is pretty much the same and if you had kids.  Change!  Change it up, switch things out.  Start new traditions.  Thinks out of the box.  One Christmas I had a lot of my friends donate scarves, gloves, socks and winter things to put in a sort of backpack for the homeless.  We ended up giving out over 50 bags that included the before mentions items plus band aids, alcohol wipes, Neosporin, heating pads, dry soup, hats, Motrin, body powder, Chapstick, sanitizer, mouthwash, toothpaste, and a toothbrush.  It was priceless the look on people's faces giving those out and saying Merry Christmas!  A different way to spend Christmas.

My first Thanksgiving without my ex was a seafood extravaganza.  I ate lobster tail and butter so much I could feel my arteries harden with every bite. It was so nice to break away from all those years of turkey and start a new tradition.  I haven't had lobster tails in a few years.  We've changed from traditional, Italian, Chinese, and sushi!  Change can be a apart of self-care.  And we know how much I stress self-care and self-love - the keys to the healing process.

What is so interesting about the entire holiday process is that the holidays mean way different to me that when the kids were around.  Even after the divorce and I had to share them.  I realized that everyday I had them was Christmas and I learned to appreciate the time with them.  Now that they are gone and grown is more precious now more than ever to get time with them.