003  Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster: Understanding the Emotional Stages of Divorce

Hello guys, and welcome to this week’s edition of our newsletter. Today, we’re addressing a topic that resonates deeply with many: the emotional stages of divorce. Divorce is often described as an emotional rollercoaster filled with twists, turns, and unexpected dips. By understanding these stages, you can navigate this complex journey with greater clarity and compassion for yourself. Let’s explore these stages together and discover helpful insights to move forward.

Denial: The First Hurdle

Denial is typically the first emotional stage of divorce. It acts as a protective barrier, shielding us from the initial shock and pain. While denial can offer temporary respite, staying in this stage for too long can delay the healing process.

Here are some key points about this stage and tips to move through it:

• What Denial Looks Like: You might say, “This can’t be happening,” or avoid conversations about the divorce altogether.

• Why It Happens: Denial helps us process overwhelming emotions at a manageable pace.

• How to Cope:

• Acknowledge your feelings, even the uncomfortable ones.

• Write in a journal to explore your thoughts and emotions.

• Talk to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group about your experience.

Have you experienced denial during your divorce? What strategies helped you begin to accept the reality of the situation? Share your thoughts and tips to help others on this journey.

Anger & Bargaining: The Middle Maze

As denial fades, anger often rises to the surface. You may feel resentful towards your ex-spouse, the situation, or even yourself. This stage can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to recognize that anger is a natural part of the process. Alongside anger, many experience bargaining, where they attempt to negotiate or find ways to reverse the situation.

Let’s break it down further and explore ways to manage these emotions:

• What Anger Looks Like:

• Feeling rage or frustration when thinking about your ex or the divorce.

• Blaming others (or yourself) for how things turned out.

• What Bargaining Looks Like:

• Thinking, “If only I had done this differently, maybe things would’ve worked out.”

• Wishing to go back in time to change the outcome.

• How to Cope:

• Channel anger into healthy outlets like exercise, creative pursuits, or meditation.

• Be kind to yourself and let go of the “what ifs.” The past cannot be changed.

• Seek professional guidance if anger or bargaining starts to feel all-consuming.

Have you faced these stages? How did you manage your emotions? Your perspective could provide valuable comfort and advice to someone else going through this phase.

Depression & Acceptance: The Final Stages

The later stages of divorce often include depression, followed by acceptance. Depression can feel heavy and isolating, but it is also a sign that you’re processing the loss and moving closer to healing. Acceptance, the final stage, is when you begin to see hope, adapt to your new reality, and plan for the future.

Here’s how to navigate these stages:

• What Depression Looks Like:

• Feeling sad, unmotivated, or overwhelmed by the changes in your life.

• Struggling to find joy in activities you once loved.

• What Acceptance Looks Like:

• Understanding that the divorce is part of your story, but it doesn’t define you.

• Beginning to set goals and take steps toward a brighter future.

• How to Cope:

• Reach out for support—whether from friends, family, or a therapist.

• Take small steps to rebuild your routine and engage in activities you enjoy.

• Celebrate the small victories, no matter how minor they may seem.

If you’ve navigated these stages, what helped you move from depression to acceptance? Share your story—it might inspire someone else to see that hope is possible.

Moving Forward Together

Thank you for joining us in exploring the emotional stages of divorce. This journey is not an easy one, but understanding these stages can help you process your emotions and move forward with strength and resilience. Remember, you are not alone in this process. There is a community of people who understand what you’re going through and are here to support you.

Until next time, take care of yourself and know that brighter days are ahead. Together, we can navigate this journey toward healing and new beginnings.

And, if you feel like you are going down a rabbit hole or can’t control your our-of-control emotions please get outside help.  Relying on a counselor, therapist and/or pastor is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.