UNFAIR PARENTING PLAN - PLAN 'B'

A parenting plan is a pain the butt from the get go.  The fact you have to share your kids messes with your mind anyway.    You main job is to have it go as smoothly as possible.  It's not the kids fault your relationship didn't work out in the first place.  And never use them as weapons or as communication tools.  Take them out of those two equations no matter pissed you are. 

Document everything in case you ever go back to court to change the parenting plan.  Keep detailed records with you time with the kids, your communication with your ex, any incidents that occur, etc.  The creates a paper trail you can use if you need it.

Speak to a lawyer.  Understand your rights and options under the law.  A lawyer can help you strategize how to get a fairer custody arrangement when you feel may be time. 

Communicate respectfully.   Avoid heated conflicts with your ex and focus discussions on the kid's wellbeing.  This makes you look reasonable.  In 'Don't Pick the Scab Podcast' with Seth Nelson, Esq. episode # 015, he talks about B.I.F.F. communication…. Be brief, informative, firm and friendly. 

Compromise when possible.  Everything is not a battle.  If you have to give up something small to gain something bigger, do it.  Play the long game.

Attend every school event, medical appointment, etc.  Show you are an involved parent. 

Get references from teachers, doctors, etc.  Showing your involvement.  Use these if you are going to request custody changes. 

Seek counseling if needed.  Managing divorce stress can help your remain calm and constructive.

Do not violate the current plan, as inconsistent as it may be.  Follow proper legal channels for changes.

Be patient and persistent.  Fair custody arrangements can take time and effort to achieve.  Stay focused on your kids. 

Kids are more resilient than you realize.  It is a trying time for all.  Don't overthink it and don't become one of those helicopter parents.  Let the kids be kids and grow up to be adults.  I'm here to tell you it can happen.  My three grew into competent and productive adults.  We had bumps along the way, but those speedbumps were course redirectors that kept them on the right path on adulthood.  You can get the same result too.  Just remember, keep the kids a priority and most of the fluff will move out of the way and they turn out ok!